*AN INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*
"Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.... irresistible as a snack tray, as intimately pleasurable as an Irish goodbye."
-Jia Tolentino
From Samantha Irby, beloved author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, a rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays.
Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow.
The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable.

Into the Gross
Girls Gone Mild
Hung Up!
Late-1900s Time Capsule
Love and Marriage
Are You Familiar with My Work?
Hysterical!
Lesbian Bed Death
Body Negativity
Country Crock
A Guide to Simple Home Repairs
We Almost Got a Fucking Dog
Detachment Parenting
Season 1, Episode 1
Hollywood Summer
$$$
Hello, 911?
An Extremely Specific Guide to Publishing a Book
Acknowledgments