Marjorie Mayfield is a big lady with an even bigger problem. She has a knack for killing off the innocent folks at the retirement community to keep her estate sale business afloat, but that special skill does not seem to help her when she is deep, deep, deep in debt to the neighborhood Slavic mob, then faced with hot competition from a pair of eager-beaver whiz kids, and then given a do-or-die mission to kidnap some of the local color. So, in a world where crimecopters chase illegal ice cream smugglers, Pekingese are sidekicks to assassination, and folks somehow do the right thing, how is it going to turn out for someone like Marjorie Mayfield?

Andrew Shaffer inhabits Portland, Oregon, where he keeps his head down to steer clear of Ms. Mayfield.