Anthony Neilson (b. 1967, Edinburgh) is a Scottish playwright and director. His breakthrough show Normal: The Dusseldorf Ripper was produced at the Edinburgh Theatre Festival in 1991. Other shows include The Wonderful World of Dissocia (2004), Realism (2006), Edward Gant's Amazing Feats of Loneliness (2009) and Orson Welles in the Land of the Peas (2010). He also took part in the Bush Theatre's Sixty Six in 2011.

A brand new comedy by the writer of the hit play Stitching, published to tie in with the Royal Court's Christmas production from November 2002
Constables Blunt and Gobbel have one last duty to fulfil before they can finish their Christmas eve shift; telling the old couple at No. 58 some terrible news. But what if the shock is too much for them? Blunt and Gobbel didn't join up in order to ruin people's lives. Maybe they'd be happier not knowing. And maybe it would all be much easier if the two constables weren't also stuck in the middle of a full-scale village lynch-mob.