Despite being among the most erudite poets of this century, Hayden Carruth has lived his life largely outside academia. This collection of stunning autobiographical essays chronicles a lifetime of wrestling with demons and muses, chronic depression, a suicide attempt, a passionate love of jazz and blues, and unflinching honesty.

Hayden Carruth is the author of twenty-five books of poetry, a novel, four books of criticism, and two anthologies, and has held fellowships from the Bollingen, Guggenheim and Lannan foundations, as well as the NEA. His many awards include the National Book Award for Poetry, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the Lenore Marshall/The Nation Award.